Chinese hookers ain't free

We've been holed up in our room a little more than usual lately. We had a big holiday performance, so we had been making all kinds of (time-consuming)props. Meals are free, and they taste like it. Also the cold weather--coupled with our location out in the middle of nowhere--make it easier to stay inside. One Tuesday night, we decided we needed a break from school, so we headed out of Zhangcun to a cleaner area of town with good cheap barbecue, a cool atmosphere and a friendly waiter who speaks a marginal amount of English.

Though we certainly get stared at more in our neck of the woods, this restaurant still provided an audience. I always wonder when and if people will ever stop staring at us, but I always realize that it probably won't happen here in Weihai. Maybe in Harbin, because it's bigger. Anyway, this particular evening was no different. Though we were in a relatively secluded booth, we could still feel people watching us eat and drink and interact, with an occasional, "hello" muttered for good measure.

One "hello" was a little louder than the others, so we looked to see where it came from. There was a man in the corner, holding up his glass of beer to cheers us. So we cheers from across the room. He seemed happy with that and beckoned Rory over to "chat." Rory joined two men who were obviously accompanied by some paid ladies.
I stayed at our table; I didn't feel much like engaging with strangers, and I was sort of obsessed with the soup we were eating.

Ultimately, though, I joined them at the table. It was a good way to practice Chinese, anyway. So we were sitting with them--neglecting the awesome soup--both loving and hating the incredible awkwardness of it all. The two men explained that they were police officers; and when we told them that we worked at Daguanghua, one of them said that his wife was an opera teacher at the school. He even called her on the phone, but kept getting disconnected.

When we were all finished, I went to the counter to pay, and the cashiers (who know us by now) made sure that I just wanted to pay for Rory and myself. No problem. I didn't want to pay for our new "friends", and that was understood. The new acquaintances asked us if we were down with an hour of ktv (karaoke). We kept telling them no, that we had class the next morning at 8:00, but they persisted, so we said okay. Our line of thinking was that a)we didn't want to offend police officers, and b)we didn't want the man to tell his wife that she works with a bunch of rude foreigners.

We walked up the street to a neon ktv place. The sidewalk sign had Korean and Chinese writing, and we read that it was a Korean style room salon. Room salons are bars or ktv places that involve "the company of women." Whatever that actually means. Anyway, we walked in, and as the new people were walking ahead of us, we made it very clear to all of the waiters and employees that we didn't really know what we were doing there.

Once we were in the private karaoke room--which isn't strange in China; you don't just sing in front of a bunch of strangers--Rory left to go to the bathroom. It was me, the two dudes and one lady. Suddenly the door opened up, and a line of women came in to stand in front of us. It reminded me of Enter the Dragon, when all the fighters are "treated" to women each evening. The black dude with the awesome afro ends up picking 5 women or something like that. Anyway, I thought it was really funny. By the time Rory got back from the bathroom, we were plus one person, and one of the police officers was trying to get the paid lady to sit between Rory and me. We had made it very clear from the beginning that we were a)married and b)not interested in a paid lady. We sang a couple of songs, and after seeing one of these old policemen making out with one young chicks' shoulder, we decided we needed to scram.

We said thank you for the time, but we had early classes, and we walked out. As we were leaving the building, the people at the counter/cash register stopped us to tell us to pay. We told them that we weren't paying because the other men were paying. That's part of a custom in China. If you invite someone out to dinner or drinking or to ktv or to your party, you pay for them. It's actually not a bad idea.

Also, at the restaurant before ktv, the staff at least had the common sense to ask if we were paying for just ourselves or the whole group. I expected at least that at ktv, because we had made it clear that we were sort of talked into doing this thing we didn't really want to do. As we were explaining that we had a problem with paying the entire 250 rmb tab, we saw the policemen coming down the stairs. We thought "great, now everything can get figured out." But as soon as they saw us talking to the folks at the counter, they took off running. They bolted out the door and left us standing there, responsible for the tab. Turns out they weren't police officers, and the wife's name homeboy had given us was actually the hr bitch at our school. She's single, and I don't think anyone would ever marry her. We'd been duped!

We tried to reason with the ktv folks, but they just wanted to get paid. We questioned why they would just let the two Chinese men leave as we were explaining that we had a problem with them. We accused them of treating us unfairly because we're foreigners (usually the case). Whatever we said didn't matter, though, because ultimately they just wanted more money.

We called our Chinese friend at the school who speaks English really well. Bill talked back and forth with the counter folks, because there was plenty being said that we still didn't understand. We got the gist of it though, and Bill confirmed our suspicions. The ktv folks weren't sympathetic, they just wanted money. We were able to talk them down to 120 rmb (we shouldn't have paid anything), we exchanged some pleasantries, and we left.

While we were outside, getting ready to flag down a taxi, a younger man from the club came running out after us. He was dressed in a cheap suit, and he obviously worked at the place in some capacity. He wanted more money. Through broken Chinese and a few more phone interactions with Bill, we realized that he was the "pimp". His rationale in getting more money was that we had been a hassle, and we'd given him a headache. We couldn't believe it. We tried to walk away, reminding him that his boss had accepted our money and we were good to go. More shirt pulling, though not nearly as aggressive as the asshole couple on the beach. He seemed more like a whiny kid than someone who could actually do harm.

He wanted 50 rmb for the ladies. We refused, telling him that we had no problem paying for beer we didn't drink and ktv songs we didn't sing, but there was no way in hell we were paying for someone else's hooker. It was so stupid for him to even suggest that we pay, because in China, hookers are pretty much strictly for men. Usually married men who go to ktv. The fact that I was a wife and even in the picture at all should have signalled something to this dude, or clued him in to how ridiculous the notion was. He wouldn't let us leave, instead asking if we wanted him to call the police. I think he thought that that would scare us into paying more money, but instead we said "bring it on."

It's at this point that I should mention that prostitution (like pirated dvds and I'm sure many other things) is illegal in China. It's just that people sort of turn their heads the other way. But for a Chinese pimp to call the cops intent on getting money for two hookers seemed pretty stupid. The cops showed up, and it took a little bit of time trying to explain everything that was going on. Once we conveyed that we had already paid for the karaoke portion of the evening, though, there was a collective "ohh". The cops understood what we were saying, and the pimp didn't dispute any of it. It was really funny, because the cops just looked at the pimp and laughed, encouraging us all to just work it out amongst ourselves. The policemen hopped in their van and took off, leaving just the three of us to try to work something out.

When the police left, we realized that was our ticket out of there. The pimp was asking us for 50 rmb, then "less than 50 rmb". We realized that if the pimp had any authority to get money from us, he would have done it with the police there. We flagged down a taxi, hopped in and went back to Daguanghua, leaving the pimp standing there wondering what the hell had just happened. It was a nice ending, even though we had already paid 120 rmb more than we should have.

"I think we're getting scammed by a kindygartener..."

Chinese kids love "Home Alone."

We were trying to decide which holiday movies would be good to show to a bunch of different age groups, and we have limited resources, namely an illegal (probably) Chinese website where we find most of our entertainment these days. As of right now, there is no "Grinch" or "Rudolph" or any of the other age-appropriate Christmas classics, but there is "Home Alone", and all of my classes have watched it, save for the one class that has a broken projector.

My second graders are the most in love with the movie, and I'm thinking it's because they're all about the same age as Kevin, their new hero. I don't think I've ever seen such a reaction from the kids before--clapping and shrieking and probably even some peed pants (I'm not joking)--they're all emotionally invested in Kevin and his hijinks. I remember seeing the movie in the theater when I was younger, but I think I would remember if the audience had reacted the way my second graders have been; and they don't even speak English or know enough Chinese characters to read the subtitles.

Plus, my theory is that any time there's a tarantula in a movie or a picture, kids go nuts. Feel free to test this.